Road to becoming an improved person in all areas of my life; motherhood, health, religion, appearance, organization, financial.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Power of One Challenge

The Power of One is a new challenge from the Sisterhood that starts today and ends February 23rd, 2011. That’s 8 fun-filled, prize-filled, soul-searching, answer-finding, ass-kicking weeks for you to get your mind and body whipped into shape.

This weeks Challenge

Today, when you write your weekly check-in post, we want you to STATE YOUR HEALTHY LIVING GOALS for this challenge and the New Year. No, we’re not calling them resolutions, because that is so last week. We are calling them goals, because goals are awesome. You can make mini-goals, short-term goals, long-term goals, or just plain goals. They can focus on anything from pounds you want to lose to races you want to compete in. However you want to do it, just make sure you get it done, okay?!

I love this new challenge. I've been looking forward for the challenge for some time since I do really well in a challenge setting and was looking forward to meeting new team mates, BUT this challenge fits so well with my 6 month plan for 2011.  2011 will be about ME!  I broke it into 2 part plan, because it's easier to focus on little goals.  In previous years I have looked at my long list of resolutions and was just overwhelmed.  this year I am setting 10 goals for the first 6 months. 

1. Enroll at community College for Spring Semester (work on finishing degree)
2. Pay of a collection account.
3. Pay of a collection account.
4. Stick to WW, I am loving the Points Plus.
5. Extremely limit eating out.
6. Read a self help book a month
7. Train for and Run a 5K
8. Attend Church regularly
9. Save $100 a month
10. Pray the rosary on a daily basis.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

New Challenge

The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans is having another challenge.

Holiday Hoedown Challenge

What’s the challenge this time at the sisterhood? Grab a partner and do-si-do! We are teaming up with friends and family for the Holiday Hoedown!

When does it begin and end? This challenge begins on Wednesday, November 17th and ends Wednesday, December 22nd!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Weight #5

206 lbs.

A 1 pound gain, was expecting much worse.  I guess subconsciously I'm making better chooses even when I'm going off track.  Doing great on drinking the water and eating the 5 servings of fruit and veggies. I'm just lacking on the exercise department and eating out.

On the challenge front I'm out :( I just totally forgot to submit my weight after weigh in. Major Brain fart. While strolling through Costco at 7:45 pm PST, I remembered. Almost left my cart to run home :) I called home and after several minutes of telling my kids what page to go and how to fill out the form the submit button was disabled. Ugh why does Central time have to be a 2 hour different from PST?

It was exactly 8:00 pm when my son kept telling me it's not working mom, and I'm all what do you mean it's not working you are doing something wrong. How could I have forgotten? Just have to chuck it up to things happen for a reason. Ugh!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I'm tired

I'm so tired.  I am so freaking tired.

I'm tired of being lazy and rather buy dinner than cook
I'm tired of being broke
I'm tired of feeling like a failure of a parent
I'm tired of fighting with my daughter
I'm tired of wanting others to do the fight for me
I'm tired of being a complainer
I'm tired of not knowing how to express my feelings
I'm tired.

I know the scale is going to reflect poorly because I've done poorly. I know that tomorrow is another day, and tomorrow can be a great new start but I've had a lot of those tomorrows.  I wake up feeling so motivated, have a great plan and then something happens (i.e bad day at work, argument with daughter, comment from husband, etc.) and I roll up into a ball and comfort myself with food, computer or TV.  I roll up and I attempt to hide from my problems.  What happened to the fighter is me?  Where did I loose her? How can I find her back?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Obstructed View

I was supposed to strip down to my undies, then write with a big black marker in each body part how great each part was. But my self esteem issues are preventing me from thinking of all the great things my body has gone through.

I've never had issues wearing a two piece bathing suit, even with all the teasing I've endured.  The thing is that I never see what they see, not because I love my body and all that it is. It's just that the mental picture I have of my body is not the real thing (denial I guess.)

Weigh In #4

The picture came out really blurry, but I'm down 3 pounds this week.

205 lbs.

The loss was a bit of a shock, been going through some emotional stuff.  Seems like I go through A LOT of emotional stuff, but thankfully this challenge has helped.  Normally when I get in these funks, I just give up. It's so much easier to give up than to take the hard road, but giving up has gotten me playing with 15 pounds for 10 years and being unhappy.  I want to be happy, and though my happiness does not depend on my weight I know that it will play a part in it.

I lagged on my challenges this week but I am made all the effort I could to stick to them best I could.  I kept a metal note on what I was eating, drank water, and the one thing I did do was eat the 5 serving of veggies/fruit per day. 

Thursday, October 07, 2010

I Love Me

"End your day by privately looking directly into your eyes in the mirror and saying, 'I love you!' Do this for thirty days and watch how you transform." -- Mark Victor Hansen

As part of the October monthly project, I'm adding this exercise. Imagine just the possibilities of me once I truly start loving myself. WOW!

Also, a few months ago I was doing an Acknowledging exercise, good time to do it again.  The exercise is from the book Change Your Life in 30 Days, I will write down 5 acknowledgments every day, until the end of the month, the reason being per the book is:

Please write down five acknowledgements every day for the next thirty days,starting now. Focus on what risks you took today. Again, think small. Be specific. You are learning to be aware of all the goods things you do on any given day. This allows you to grow confident in yourself. And reveals, slowly at first, who your true self actually is. The smaller and more specific, the better.


Woo hoo, I'm all for this weeks challenges

Non Physical Challenge
1. Drink half of weight in ounces of water
2. No Drive-Thru
3. 5 servings fruit & veggies
4. Journal food intake

Physical Challenge
1. Log in miles

This go right along with my plans for this week.  After this weeks gain, I instantly knew my eating habits have a lot to do with my weight. I think I'm eating healthy but not looking at labels, and eating too much of something and it's a gain.   For example, I'll eat Subway, but I get it with the works including cheese, mayo and oil.  Or I'll have a salad with ranch dressing, croutons and sesame seeds. Did you know sesame seeds have a lot of calories? 

This week I planned to start journaling my food with the weight watchers points system.  I have a few journals from when I was attending meetings, that I will put to work this week.  I also like that it has a place where I can track how much water I drink and the fruit/veggie servings I eat.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

I love Me Pledge

I'm taking the pledge.


The Pledge to Love Myself.

I pledge allegiance, TO MYSELF.
Today I will proclaim it
out loud,
From this day forward,
I promise to be nice.
TO myself and ABOUT myself.
I will accept my quirks and I will love my faults.
I will love my shape, whatever it is
My bones, my muscles, my hair and my face.
My body, all of it, inside and out.
Because that is what makes me, ME.
And there is only one of me.
I will finally allow myself
to see what others see.
My kindness, my spirit, my love.
And starting today, I will share some of it,
with ME.
Because I deserve it.
I will fight for myself, because I’m important.
And I deserve to be everything I am capable of in my life.
I deserve to find my greatness and live my life fully and completely.
With no regrets.
There is so much I want to do in my life,
but first, it begins with “me.”
Today, tomorrow, and every day after that.
And no one can stop me.

This is part of :
Monthly Project

Weigh In #3

208 lbs
Ugh, that's a 2 pound gain, and only a 2 pound loss on this challenge. UGH!

This week non physical challenge was a continuation of drinking water, staying away from drive troughs and the new one was to eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies.  I did horrible on the 5 servings, one would think its would be easy but I do better on the no eating out that getting in the 5 servings.  I tried every single day, but I'm not a fruit and veggie type of girl.  I know that will will be continues onto next week and I have made my menu plan to include all the 5 servings.

On other news,  I have started training for a 5k! The walking route I take is 3.06 miles which equal a 5k walk.  I've always been an avid walker, and I know I can walk a 5K but I want to run one. Since grade school I've had issues running, I just don't run.  Even as I have been doing the plan, I notice that my jogging pace is much slower than my fast walking pace.  Then I start self doubting myself and blaming my weight.  Maybe I'm just too heavy to be a runner. 

The good thing is that now I recognize my own self sabotages and know that I am just making excuses to quit. I'm going to continue the training, just with modifications. For the training I found some really cool podcast by Robert Ullrey to use for the training.  The first week is basically running 1 minutes and recovering 90 seconds between each run.  There are 8 running intervals, and on the last minute Robert is saying that I should not be out of breath and I should be able to have a conversation.  Well, I am not there.  I am so out out of breath and breathing so hard that I can't carry a conversation with myself. My solution is to probably do week 1 for 2 more weeks.

As for the physical challenge this week, it's to time how fast we did 1 mile.  Mine was 14 minutes, going to work hard on cutting that number in 1/2.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Not a shredhead yet

After several months (okay maybe 1 or 2 years) I took the wrapper off my Shred DVD and popped it in the DVD player. Wow, I did the first workout (with a lot of moderations) and after being drenched in sweat, I know that I'm not physically in shape to do start the program yet. I'll give it another go in two week, or maybe a month.

I had problems with the push ups and the leg quicks.  I don't see how my arms can carry 205 pounds to do push ups. I have always struggled with push up, but I can only do 5 out of the 1000's she ask us to do :)  This next two weeks I will work on my arms, I'll do standing push ups, and some arm curls.

Weigh In #2

206 lbs

I slacked off this week in the exercise department, and I believe this is why I was really bummed about being sent to Exile Island.  I need accountability, it helps me to know that I have to report to others. Most of last weeks miles logged were mainly to show face to the tribe than to me. I believe this is why I do so well in these challenges but when I am left on my own, I go back to old habits.

BUT yesterday I had some realizations about my weigh-loss, well the whole me but it all boils down to how I eat, how I treat myself and treat my needs.  I need to be accountable to me, yes the whole notion of the game is so much fun but the end result is my weight loss.

Thank you Shrinkvivor.  I've learned so much these last two weeks, and so excited there are still 4 more weeks to go.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

7 days a week 2 times a day

As lunch time was approaching, I started craving to eat out.
Chinese food, Tostada Bowls and Subway where dancing in my head, but I put those thoughts aside.

I had to ask myself how badly do I want to loose weight and save money.  That question triggered a self realization.  I didn't want to eat out because the food around work is so delicious*, it's because I have cash in my wallet and I want to spend it. Money always seems to burn a whole in my wallet.

This triggers down to how I have been my adult life, I take easy ways out. Specially when it comes to food.  It's easier for me to eat out, than to cook a meal or pack a lunch.  This past month I vowed** that I would stop eating out because I hate living pay check to pay check (we calculated $1,200 a month on eating out - 7 days a week 2x a day)  and so far so good, but today's feeling scared me. 

*There's aren't that many option, and after 2 1/2 years, I am so tired of it all.
**Unfortunately this is not the first, second or third time I have vowed this, but this is the longest I have lasted.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Keep on Truckin'

After reading some of the post on "Exile Island," the ladies where just as bummed as me and some had lost motivation. 

When my torch was extinguished, self doubt did show it's head for a bit, and I did question my motivation to continue on, because well I know me and I've been on this loosing weight roller coaster for over a decade now, and the smallest of things can derail me.  Then I got an email from a friend on the challenge, she told me that I couldn't quit because I got her into this and it's 6 more weeks to go.

Not once did I think of quitting the challenge, I just questioned my motivation of continuing on as strong as I did last week. I wondered if I would start slacking off.

Then I felt bad for the ladies that a part of their inner flamed was turned off, when their torch was extinguished.  It's funny how a little challenge can do that to us, BUT we have to remember it's a game, and games are supposed to be fun. At the end of this challenge we are all getting a prize, we will all be a few pounds lighter and have shrunk a few inches.There aren't many game out there where everyone is a winner.*

*I know cheesy but it made me smile when I read it in Exile forum.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Shrinkvivor Exile Island Member!

My torch was extinguished, I sure was not expecting it.  I mean 5 pounds that's 2%.

I'm so bumed.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Weigh In #1

205 lbs

Holly Freaking Cow
5 pounds in 1 week. I don't think I have ever done it. 
I owe it all to the challenge, and my great team.  The ladies are just awesome. They are able to articulate all the floating thoughts in my head into actual plans. At times I felt like a cheat because I copied a few of their plans but I swear all those things have been in my head. My problem is that I have so many ideas floating around, that I just stray A LOT from what I want because I want so much at one time.  This week I learned that it's best to set out ONE plan, stick to it best I can and start fresh the next week.
Meet Team Black Nero

I don't want to loose any of my team mates or even worse I'm sent to exile and I loose them all.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Not a Good Combo

I've had an issue with taking vitamins since as far back as I can remember. I've bought so many types of vitamins brands and have always gotten an upset stomach, or they have made me nausea. The bottles always ended up in the trash and had just about given up taking them until I discovered gummy vitamins. They are so yummy, and I have not stomach problems with them. AND the great thing is that I can now take the Omega vitamins.  So many people complain about the Omega vitamins because of the after taste and burping up the flavor, I don't have that problem with the one I chew.  They do have a fishy taste, but I take those first and let the other flavors kill the taste. 

I've been taking/eating these vitamins for 3 weeks now and I can feel the difference. I actually have energy to want to do things.  BUT I have discovered that in my family that is not a good thing. At times I feel restless because I was to be go, go, go, go and I can't.  My family and I have had a pretty sedentary life style and a really bad habit of just sitting in front of the TV. My new found energy has been getting on their nerves, and I don't know what to do. 

My son told me this weekend that I'm passive aggressive, and will rather walk away than get confrontational and when I do get confrontational I go to the extreme. It's so true. I want to go out on evening walks, go back to the gym but then I get a guilt trip and they know which guilt buttons to push. The hubby is no help because he is very happy the way things are.

When I was going to Curves I could only go in the morning, and I used to feel so guilty because my kids* had to walk to school.   How can I overcome this? How can I not feel bad for wanting to exercise?

*My kids are 17 and 13, with cell phones and I walked to school since I was in kindergarten.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Starting Weight

210 lbs

I was surprising shocked by the number, I honestly thought it be about 5 more pounds

How to take body measurements

•Bust: Measure around the chest right at the nipple line, but don't pull the tape too tight.

•Chest: Measure just under your bust

•Waist: Measure a half-inch above your belly button or at the smallest part of your waist

•Hips: Place tape measure around the biggest part of your hips

•Thighs: Measure around the biggest part of each thigh

•Calves: Measure around the largest part of each calf

•Upper arm: Measure around the largest part of each arm above the elbow

•Forearm: Measure around the largest part of the arm below the elbow

Starting Measurement

Measurements for the beginning of Shrinkvivor. Taking measurement on myself was a bit difficult, and don't know exactly how accurate they are but it's a guideline. Not happy with the numbers, but they are out in the light and it's better knowing then trying to hide from them.

•Bust: 45"

•Chest: 40 1/2"  (never measured under the bust, but make sense)

•Waist: YIKES 45"

•Hips: 47"

•Thighs: 25"

•Calves: 17 1/2"

•Upper arm: 12"

•Forearm: 11"

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Game Face

The challenge is going to be so much fun!

Here are some of the Rule:

How will the fitness challenges work? Do I have to participate? Each Thursday, we will announce a new fitness challenge. Each tribemate will try his or her best (duh!) and have until Tuesday night at 11:59 p.m. CENTRAL to complete the challenge. You will report your results on the weigh-in form the next day (check-in Wednesday). If a tribemate does not participate in the fitness challenge, a ZERO will be put in and used while figuring the tribe’s average. All the results for each tribe will be tallied and averaged to come up with the tribe’s total score. The top-performing tribe will be the recipient of the Immunity Idol. Trust me, you want this. We may even throw some prizes in every once in awhile.
Okay, so what is this Immunity Idol? It is the ultimate bling of Shrinkvivor. Only the best will get the honor of displaying this badge on their blogs for the week. Oh yeah, one small detail. The holder’s of immunity CANNOT get sent to Exile Island that week!! Ka-CHING!

How many teams will be sent to Exile Island each week? Since we have such a large number of tribes, TWO teams will be eliminated each week. These will be the two teams with the lowest cumulative % of weight lost. Keep in mind that if you have tribemates that have already been voted off or disqualified, their weights will not be a part of your tribe’s numbers anymore! If you are in the bottom two and are holding the Immunity Idol, you WILL NOT be sent to Exile Island!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Team Black

I was skimming over the contestants blogs in the challenge, and I started to feel a bit intimidated.  Some of these gals have some pretty awesome blogs, and they blog on a daily basis and blog some pretty cool stuff. I've repeatedly failed at my constant blogging and interesting post, how will I compare, why did I give my blog addy out?

I had to slap myself a couple of times, the stupidities I allow to take over my brain surprise me at times.  This challenge is not about how my blog looks, it about getting out of the 200's for good. I have to hold on to the excitement I felt when the challenge was posted, and then waiting to know who would be on my team.  Mind you, I am a bit intimidated* that that one of the founders of The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans is on my team.

*Don't really know if intimidate is the correct word, but I feel something.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Weight Loss Challenge

The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans is having a weight loss challenge, and I'm so excited.  I've done a challenge with them in the past and I did okay and I gained it all back, but I might be in a different state of mind now and this sounds like so much fun.

I think the time has finally come where I'm ready to take my weight loss seriously.  I'm just so freaking tired of yo-yoing 10 pounds and not getting out of the 200's. It's been 13 freaking years, enough is enough.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Loving the Blogger features.  I just imported in less than a minute 2 of the other blogs I was keeping a few years ago.  WOW.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


I had forgotten I had this blog, I have a few of them and this one just totally slipped my mind. I'll be catching up with my old self and updating this weekend.

I am still in the 200's and kicking myslef for it. I almost gave up AGAIN this week because I didn't get below 200 for my birthday.