Road to becoming an improved person in all areas of my life; motherhood, health, religion, appearance, organization, financial.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Check In # 3

Wow, just can't believe we are in the middle of the month and just a few days from the middle of the year. And here we are half way through the challenge and I am rocking it :) I kept up with all of my goals water, fruits & veggies, and a 1 mile a day. I was a bit OCD on it cuz I knew I needed to report back, there were two night at 11 pm I was chugging the last of my water while eating a fruit cup or banana.

Now, some of my fruit servings were not the healthiest, and I am going to work on making better choices, but I figured that as long as I got the servings in this week it was a huge plus.  The biggest culprit was strawberries and creme, I had about 7 serving this week of that. Also fruit cups, I didn't even want to look how much sugar that had.  BUT on a plus side, I was making sure to have a salad with lunch this week. If you are in a crunch, McDonald's has the side salad for $1.00, I was told it was not the best choice but hey it's a serving of veggies.

On the weight front, I stayed the same. The big loss from last week, I will happily take a 0.0 loss, always good it's not a gain.
Starting Weight 216
Last Week 209.5
This week 209.5
Loss -0.0
Total Loss -6.5

Friday, May 13, 2011

Odd Man Out

Easter 2010
The resemblance between my sisters and I are seen by a lot but I just don't see it. Maybe it's because I've always felt like the odd man out.* As a child, I was the really light skin one with curly hair and the only one of my sibling with green/hazel eyes.

September 2007
When I see pictures of us, I always cringe.  The first reason is because well I'm the heaviest and second reason is because they are always so put together and I'm not. In seeing this years picture my mind went into over drive in finalizing my "Drab to MILF** Project." I no longer want to be the frumpy one in the pictures!

What exactly is the "MILF Project" you may ask, well it's just basically creating a sexy mama. I've never been a girly girl. Never learned how to apply make-up (seriously, I look like a clown sometimes.) I hardly wear earrings or any jewelry for that matter. My wardrobe consist of a lot of hand me downs and really washed out clothes. I did try to learn and I think I was doing okay during high school, when I think most girls learn to dress up and all that, but I became pregnant soon after high school and entered into a 19 year relationship in which my self esteem took a beating. 

This is so not the blog to bash him, but I do think you need a little bit of history on it. 
I've realized and have come to terms with the fact that I have always had a low self esteem (which I am currently working on fixing). I have always wanted people's approval and love and have allowed many things to happen because I don't like thinking that someone doesn't like me.  So in this relationship I allowed a lot of what happened for many reason but the main reason was that I wanted to stay in it for the "love" and going along with his way of thinking was so much easier to give into it than to fight.  Some small examples are that if I dressed up, or wore make-up or started to loose weight he would start making comments that I was doing it for another man, but yet at other times he would criticized me because I didn't take pride in my appearance. Also, if I bought make-up, clothes, shoes, dyed/cut my hair I'd get a guilt trip on how that money would of been better spent on the family.  THANKFULLY I know now these are his insecurities not mine and this is so not how I want to live my life but it is 19 years of reprogramming, because I have found myself feeling guilt after buying me a pair of shoes.

Shortly after we split off, I took a hard look at myself in the mirror and knew this is not the person I wanted to be.  I started toying with the concept of a project because I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it in a snap of a finger, Developing a new look is going to take time for someone who lasted months without plucking her eyebrows. The name of the project came to me because well who doesn't want to be a MILF and just about every time I tell people I have an 18 year old son I am told I don't look old enough to have a child that old.

Now, I haven't finalized the outline of the project, a timetable for it. I do want to take pictures along the way to show the progress but my daughter is always misplacing it.  The Make It or Break It challenges came from this concept too and know that for this to take I have to create a lot of new habits. (I also have pictures to post about this, but I don't have the memory card right now.)

* I've always felt like the the milk man daughter.
**MILF is Mother I would Like to Fuck

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Check In #2

I really dislike my scale, today it range from 209.5 - 214.  I know the scale well enough that I have to get on it a couple of time to get the correct weight but the last two times I have gotten on it, it has been way off.  The last time it told me I was under 200, it would be nice if it were true but then it told me I was 215.  Good thing there is a brand new shipping scale at work that I can finally weigh in at.

I'm down to 209.5, that's a 6.5 weight loss since May 1st.  WOOO WHOOO!

I did really great on the water challenge, and so so okay on my challenge about the fruits & veggie. I'm making more of a conscience choice of eating them but always seem to fall short 1 or 2 a day.  And the other sisterhood challenges, well it hard to get on the chat and #tworkout as I get out of work at 6:00 pm PST.  I did try to the Tworkout for a little bit last night and figure something is better than nothing. 

May Your Way Challenge

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Weigh In #1

I'm down 1 pound :)  I have been lagging on my personal goals, the family is starting a new business venture and I've been stressing a bit about is since I have to put in a few long nights.  I'm doing okay with the water, but those darn fruits and veggies have always been a challenge. 

This week’s mission is to drink your water. You probably knew that was coming, huh? Let’s aim to get at least 64 oz each and every day this week. You can do it! Your body will love you for it! {maybe not your bladder}

This week challenge is superb since I'm already doing it :) and yes, your bladder hates you at time and I have wondered (when the drip doesn't seem to stop) that I couldn't of possibly have drank all that water from the last 10 minutes I was just in the rest room.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

May Your Way

There's a new challenge at The Sisterhood, May your way. The one thing I like about it that it runs May 1st to the 31st, really like that it a full month challenge.

I did really good with my first make it or break it challenge but I am having a hard time with my second one. Drinking water on the weekends has never been an easy task, and I just can't motivate myself to get on the treadmill. So I am making these my goals for the month, drink 3 litters of water, walk 1 mile on the treadmill and eat 5 fruits/veggies a day.  That all should help with the big goal of loosing 10 pounds this month.

I would really like to loose more but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment and with disappointment comes giving up and then being mad at myself and then looking at food for comfort and then we are back to square one, really who wants to put themselves on that cycle.