It is not the weight that I am embarrassed about, it's joining WW again.
I'm scared of funneling money into this when financially our family is struggling a bit. I'm scared of failing again.I'm scared of being judge.
I'm scared of being asked "Can you eat that?" - I haven't dealt well with the question before.
I'm just scared!
The only ones that will know of this journey will be who ever reads this (I seriously doubt I have any followers.) Yes, I know it's awesome to have support at home and with friends & family BUT I don't like the support I get from my friends and family.
When I vent about the scale or wanting to eat a tub of icing - it's just basically that - I JUST WANT TO VENT! At those particular times I don't need advise, I don't need motivation, I don't need to be told what to do. I just need to be listened to.
I loath being ask /told"what's the plan?"
"what are we going to do to get to your goal"
"this is what you need to do ... "
"what did you eat today?"
"How much water did you drink?"
"you should join a gym?"
And quiet frankly I have a family who just likes to criticize everything I do, how I look, how I eat, what I eat, how I dress, my parenting, my children ... oh the list can go on.
And because of this criticism food eventfully turned into my comfort, someone starts dishing out unsolicited advise, criticism I start packing in the food. And let me tell you I can have some orgasmic experiences with my food.
I know more than anything I need to adopt better eating habits for my health, but I also know how I react to certain things and this is why this will be my secret for now.