Road to becoming an improved person in all areas of my life; motherhood, health, religion, appearance, organization, financial.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

41st Birthday

I'm typically huge on celebrating birthdays and making a big fuss about them but this year I'm just not feeling it.

I can't even figure out why.

I mean I'm typically really good at faking it. I can fake joy, the excitement, and just go with it and pretend to have an awesome day but this year I just don't even want to fake it. I just don't want to celebrate.

Okay, so maybe I kind of do know what this fog is all about. I'm just not where I want to be physically and as I'm getting older and every year I vow that next year I'm getting fit and well I'm just getting bigger in size. 

AND I still haven't figured out how to make me happy without food.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Still don't like the person in the mirror

The day after my last post I was in a pretty bad car accident and it took me a little bit of time to recover from it physically and even longer to recover from it mentally.

The accident became my life.

Tons of doctor and therapy appointments. For months, no one was figuring out what was wrong with me (I have limited mobility on my right side.) 

It was all I talked about
It was all the consumed my mind
It made me angry
It made me nervous

It took me off my game plan because well I had an excuse of why I wasn't eating better, why I wasn't going to the gym, why I wasn't taking care of myself.    It gave me an excuse!

During this time frame, the loosing weight plan was in the back of my mind. There were days I tried to do something about it and I was serious about it and then a little something would happen and I'd be back in my comfort zone indulging on food. 

And because I do want to change, I want to be fit and healthy and I want to take pride on myself again, I'm going to start today on my 41st birthday.  I'm going to give myself the gift of health and fitness.  I'm still going on with stuff from the accident but I'm going to pray to be able to keep that stress separate from this goal.

I was thinking that if I actually hit my ultimate weight goal of 130 pounds, that would be a 100 pound loss. I've always wanted that title, Oh I lost 100 pounds, A hundred pounds ago blah blah blah.  I feel it's a stupid goal, but it's my thing.