Road to becoming an improved person in all areas of my life; motherhood, health, religion, appearance, organization, financial.

Thursday, July 09, 2015

The devil on your shoulder can be evil!

My first day in Kitosis was great until I got home. The Teriyaki Chicken Sub I hadn’t eaten for dinner the night before was calling my name and to be completely honest I only fought it for about half an hour. So I ate a 6 inch with extra sugary teriyaki sauce and since for some reason I was jonesing for sugar I had a bowl and a half of Fruitloops. 

So I was fine for the rest of the night, I resisted Costco Pizza and then I saw a bag of chips. So I had snack size Lay’s Sour Cream & Onion AND Cheeto’s. I wasn’t craving salt, the chips didn’t even taste good, I didn’t even enjoy them but I ate them.

This morning I lazily prepared my food for the day, I really didn’t want to but just because I had a bad night I wasn’t going to throw the towel (like every other single time.) So I made 2 of the meals, the protein shake and the green tea.

I did have a rather proud moment, had an appointment with the pain management doctor this morning, & had a little time to kill so I went to Walgreen’s. The first thing I wanted to do was go get a Hostess Yellow Cupcake, and then maybe a candy, if not maybe just something that is not protein and loaded with sugar and carbs BUT I did what I went to do and resisted.  Same thing at Ralph’s.  I wanted to dip my face in frosting heaven, I was already talking myself into it.

“No one will know”

“You already screwed up yesterday”

“You know you are not going to do all 7 days”

“You are going out of town tomorrow, you know you not going to do this.”

“Just start on Monday again.”

I fought hard, and actually talked back to that voice in my head.

Now, I still have a few hours for the rest of the day, and I’m going out of town tomorrow & have a few things to do after work.  I know that I’m not going to stick with the meal plan, I should be optimistic and say yes, I will conquer, I will win BUT I’m being realistic and not setting myself up for a huge failure.  I’ll just make a much better eating choice when I eat out.

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

Using side effects to my advantage

Well, I found yet another excuse as to why exactly I can’t change my eating habits, go to the gym or lose weight. 
I was finally able to go see a pain management doctor, and was told that one of the side effects on what I was prescribed is that I would gain weight. So guess what I did … it was the PERFECT EXCUSE.  So I gained 5 pounds and tipped the scale at 235.
So this went on for two months, and I’m still hating the way I look, dress, eat, blah blah blah. I had to have a conversation with myself.  Just because it’s one of the side effects, it doesn’t mean I have to gorge on food.  So I might not lose weight, but I also wont keep gaining weight and I’ll get healthy on the inside.
 SO … tomorrow I start kitosis.